I wrote a guest post for my friend's blog Love on the Run. She's blogging about her separation and divorce "as it happens." Since I've been through a breakup, I offered her stories of my experience. She told me she likes how honest I am. Read the post here if you’d like (got to love the comments on that post!).
Writing that piece for her blog led me to more that I wanted to write, but did not include in that post. So I thought I’d finish it out here - more on the Temporariness of everything.
One thing I have learned through my own long term relationship and subsequent divorce is seeking security and "forever" in another human being is complete foolishness. It's not fair to the other person to depend on them for your happiness and it is not a mature and conscious way to live…expecting another evolving person to be and stay the same way to make you happy. People need to grow and evolve consciously as individuals. I believe this leads to a lot of relationship failures.
I believe in monogamy but I don't believe in forever. It is a lie, a myth, because even if you do stay with the same person for the rest of your life, death will take one of you first. Feeling this sense of temporariness ensures that I appreciate the person I am with right now so much more. There is no time for complacency, no trap set for taking someone for granted. The relationship is always in a place of gratitude. At least this is what I've found.
Everything is temporary. That is one of the greatest truths.
Wow. I read your piece and I am blown away. I know what you mean about leaving within the hour. Once I had had enough of my first long term (bad) relationship, I was DONE. I didn't have any monetary or kid complications, so it was relatively easy...I changed my phone number and quit answering the door. Finito. I don't think it's cowardly, it take a lot of balls (ovaries?) to say "I quit", admit defeat, and start over again.
ReplyDeleteAnd I concur on the temporariness of relationships--life can change in the blink of an eye and it's important to keep an aware mindfullness, a Zen, with your partner. Embrace each moment.