Bizarroland

It's 5:00 AM and there is nothing in my brain but an odd dream I woke up with. I was with a small group of people who were forced to exchange lives with another group (who planned the whole venture), but they lived in a different dimension beyond a special room. We went in one door from our world into a small hotel room with a couple of beds, a bath room and a bureau and a door on the opposite wall. Walking through that opposing door gave you a head rush after which the people on the other side would slap a "device" on your wrist which made you comply with their wishes.


Odd thing was they were just ordinary people. I was taken in by a family headed by a real skinny man and a large woman. I remember being excited that I was going to cook as I sat at the womans bar while she chopped onions in a fry pan. 


There were children in the background but I don't remember them. An older woman, an aunt, I guessed, was sitting in an easy chair and hoping she'd studied enough to be the nun she planned to take the life of.


I remember being particularly concerned that I had good sneakers to wear and plenty of socks and underwear, and I was upset because couldn't find my Swiss Army knife which wasn't in the jewelry box where I keep it.


And that's the kind of thing that goes on in my brain when I'm asleep. Sounds like that makings of a short sci-fi story.

Powerless

Well this is disappointing. My power just went out and now I’m on battery to write this. Just when I think I have nothing to write about…Ping! I have an idea handed to me.

Got to love the power of creativity.

All winter long we got a flicker here, a flicker there and kept our electricity flowing. I think we had one ½ hour outage. Tonight we have a little rain storm and…Ping!

I say “Ping” because that’s the noise the microwave makes when it goes out with the power and also “ping” when it comes back on.

It scares the dogs to no end.

That ping is heard several times a day everyday when we cook stuff in the microwave, but when the power goes out…the ping becomes the boogie monster. When I let Buzz (our female Jack Russell Terrier) out for potty, she went into the woods and planted herself with ears flat and tail tucked. She would not come no matter what treats I promised her. I had to go retrieve her physically…all this in the rain, of course.

Why is it when the power goes out, I immediately feel like I have to go to the bathroom and I get hungry?

Well, luckily we store lots of bottles of tap water for just these occasions, so at least I won’t go thirsty for the next two hours. That’s what Central Maine Power’s recording said when I just called them from my cell phone (digital phones go out with the power). It must have been a big accident or major issue because they listed not only my town and the surrounding towns, but also the city of Augusta. It’s huge!

I managed to swallow a luke warm dinner that was sitting in the microwave. I only got through the first half of the cooking process. Not totally bad, but not recommended for daily consumption. The temperature of it wasn’t the worst, it was just not cooked through and a bit chewy in places it ought not to be.

Well! There now, the power just came back on! That wasn’t even a whole hour. And now I’m done!

I love electricity {big sigh}.

Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride

Wow! I have rediscovered Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride, common brand named Sudafed.

When they put it behind the pharmacy counter years ago, I stopped buying it. Too much trouble. I did try the alternate version, but didn't think it helped much. 

This morning I ventured to my neighborhood grocery store (Hannaford) to buy myself tissues and cough drops and thought I'd try that alternate version again. The shelves were bare of the product (lots of people with colds this time of year) so I had to ask about it at the pharmacy counter.

The pharmacist told me they had a Pseudoephedrine Hydrochloride product, but I'd have to show my license and sign for it. It sounded really fancy and a lot of trouble to obtain so I asked how much it cost. When she told me it was only $1.77, I couldn't believe it! I dug out my license and waited until she filled my information in her log book and had me sign it. I forked over $2 in cash...

And lo and behold, it works! Yay! Some relief at last! I recommend it!

Now maybe I can get some sleep tonight.

Gotta Go!

I’m walking through a large old gymnasium with wooden bleachers lined along the side walls and worn parkay floors. I'm with a group of people and we are touring the building. Along the inside wall of the gym are four open doorways without any doors. Built up pressure in my lower abdomen urges me to pick one, break from the group and walk through it.

I assume it's a locker room finding a maze of divider panels bolted to the concrete floor. I weave my way through the benches and locker banks, hoping this is the girl’s locker room. I spot one girl in a corner stuffing a bag with clothes from an open locker. Just then I come across yet another doorless opening and feel a sense of relief as I peer in to find a row of stalls. The first three are open showers with plastic curtains hanging in various disarray, one ripped, another missing a few hooks. The next stall door has a crooked sign taped to it. I don't read it, but know what it says, and I look to the next. It has no door at all and the toilet is off its base, sitting lopsided. I feel a bit frustrated as the next stall is completely vacant, nothing but a pile of rubble where the toilet should be. The painful pressure in my bladder urges me forward.

At the end of the row is another door out to a hallway, so I get a hold of myself and continue on. I hear a muffled, but shrill meow coming from the door and I push it open to find a room full of chattering girls. Not one of them looks up at me. Against the far wall I notice a completely normal looking toilet with only a divider panel providing moderate privacy and I ask myself if I'm really going to use that one, in front of everyone. I wonder who in the world decided to put it there, and walk by it longingly.

Outside the locker room is an opposing door but when I venture over, I find it locked. Further down the hall, just beyond a metal water fountain, is a door that says WOMEN. At last, I can taste relief as I begin my journey again, hope anew. Then I'm on brightly lit stairs leading up, taking turns at every landing. The pain in my bladder is so intense I’m ready to just find a dark corner, but as I reach the top of the stairs, in the middle of the hall is another perfectly normal looking toilet, standing by itself. I wonder if it's hooked up or just waiting for installation. Should I go ahead and use it? 

As I’m sitting on it, trying to go, I worry that someone will be coming down the hall and I’m just not able to let go. Nothing will happen and the pain and pressure remains. 

Then I laugh out loud as I realize what is happening and think, oh, my God. This is one of those pee dreams and I've got to wake up!

Life Is Complete!

I have been on a search for something. As I thought more and more about it, it became the answer.  It was something I had to have. At first I thought I could buy it on the cheap, but it was not to be found at Goodwill or Big Lots. The longer I didn’t have it, the more important it became. I couldn’t do anything more until I had it. So on payday I went to Walmart determined to bring it home. Walking down the designated aisle I encountered my first specimen. It was too big. Fine tuning my search I found the next likely candidate, but it was too long. When I located the item I had pictured in my mind, it was the right size, but it was the wrong color and it was hard where I expected it to be soft. Thinking I could overlook these blemishes I pulled the item off the shelf, but it was enormously heavy and that was the third strike. I almost panicked. Was this not going to be the answer after all? I couldn’t find it at Goodwill or Big Lots, and now this?

What should I do?

 K-Mart. I was not going to be so easily defeated. I packed up my groceries and headed over to K-Mart.

Tucked away on the dusty bottom shelf, I found only two. One had half the packaging missing, the other had paint scraped off the edge. I pulled out half packaged one and lifted it. I could manage that, I thought. It was the right size, the right color and it was soft where I expected. It was just like the ones we had growing up. This was it. I hauled it to the front, made my purchase for $5 more than I intended to spend and brought it home.

With the remaining packaging removed I gave it a quick wash down with Lysol Kitchen Disinfectant spray and set it up in the middle of our living room in front of the wood stove. I was elated and glowing with satisfaction until I took a deep breath then started laughing at myself and the expectation I had placed in this “thing”. With no one but the cats to hear me I said out loud, “Now, my life is complete!” Now I will be able to sit down and write my book, my memoir, my blog and become a famous author!  All because of this…

A card table. 

Well I am sitting at it right now and writing this. Of course I had to bring all my computer equipment out of my office first.